Thursday, May 15, 2014

41 and counting

My 41st birthday came and went, and about the same time, my right leg just... stopped. Now, I can still move it, and I can still walk, and I can still DO things... I just can't seem to get the leg to do what I want to do, when I want to do it. The brain misfires are getting more significant.

I have lofty goals for this year. I want to play football next year. I want to ride my bicycle all summer. I want to be out and about and as active as I can be. I'm not ready to give in yet to this disease.

Two weeks ago I went on a new medicine -- the last hope before levodopa --dopamine.

And it didn't work.

In two weeks, I'll be seeing the doctor -- and starting dopamine.

I'm terrified... having had a hard time processing all the realizations at once.  The realization that I will never own a motorcycle again, that I just sold my car and may never be the sole owner of a car again. And that I need a cane. Sooner rather than later.

Tomorrow night, I do another sleep study -- to confirm that I do in fact have REM sleep behavior disorder (sleep specialist says it's only seen in men, first I'd heard that, and of course, I have it... so, no, it's not)... and to prove yet again to them that not every fat person has sleep apnea.

And I suppose I should do the sleep study since the last one never got me into REM sleep... and well, it's 3:22am.... and I've been up almost 2 hours... for the day....

I hate Parkinson's Disease.